Being a mom is seriously gross

So if you are not a mom, or if it has been awhile, or if you are easily grossed out, you probably do not want to read this post. Yesterday was seriously crazy. So we go to church at 1pm and most Sundays it takes me all morning to get myself and my three boys properly dressed, fed and out the door. So we start with breakfast - Cream of Wheat. Why I feed this to my kids, I don't know, because it is so annoying to try to clean up. Colton also enjoyed his usual spread of graham crackers and other things that get really smooshy and stuck in his hair. So in the end I strip down the two youngest and we head up to the bath. Before I get Colton to the tub, he spits up. Normal, but now that he is eating food and not just milk, it is really chunky and gross. Clean it up, move on. Now Corbin and Cody are in the tub in my bathroom while I bathe Colton in his little tub in the boys bathroom. As I am washing Colton, I'm like "what the heck?" and I realize he spit up again and there is all this junk in the water. Gross. So I pull him out and try to keep him wrapped up as I empty the little tub thing, rinse it and refill it with one hand. As I am doing this, Corbin comes in naked and starts the water in their tub. Sometimes he does this because he and Cody are not getting along and he wants to bathe by himself, so I, being the sensitive mother that I am, quickly reprimand him for running through the house all wet and tell him to get back in the other tub. To which he responds, "but Cody is throwing poop everywhere!" Ahhhh! So I take the freezing cold, crying baby, and yank Cody out of the tub in my bathroom, where, yes, there is now poop all over the floor. So now Cody and Corbin are in the tub in their bathroom, I finish washing Colton, get him dressed and in his bed - all the while yelling at the boys to stay in the tub until I can come wash their hair with actual shampoo instead of the half bar of soap they have used. Ughh. So Colton goes to sleep. One down. I go quickly clean up the poop. Gross. Then get the boys, washed, dried, lotioned and dressed for church and send them down for some quality TV time. Then back up to scrub the carpet and clean the tub. Gross, gross, gross. Finally, I get to take a shower and get dressed. I make the boys lunch and I let them have a little picnic in the living room (yes, this is foreshadowing). I get Colton up from his nap and let him play while I pack everything for church - books, snacks, diapers, etc etc etc. Just as I go to put Colton in his carseat, I realize he has pooped clear up his back. Ahhhh! I so wanted to be on time to church for once! So I run upstairs, try to get his clothes off without getting it in his hair, do the quick wash down, find new church clothes and throw the dirty ones somewhere where I will remember to wash them out later. Gross. While trying to get the boys in the car I step on a piece of cheese, which squishes nicely into my hose. I rip my hose off and throw everyone in the car. We're finally off. I forgot to mention at some point in the morning I also sat on a toilet seat covered in pee. Yuck. And to top off my wonderful morning, I get to church, get my three rowdy kids into the pew, sit down, and realize I have a small smudge of baby poo on my skirt. Yeah, like I said, totally gross.